Wednesday, 20 January 2016

From Script to Screen: OGR Online Greenlight Review

1 comment:

  1. OGR 21/01/2016

    Hi Manisha,

    Well, you're pretty much good to go, but there are few more things I want you to think about. In order for this film to work, you need to ensure that you convey the inner-life of your character's successfully, and this is a subtle business, because it's going to be about facial expressions and body language and a real sensitivity for timing and also restraint. These stories of yearning and hope are delicate stories and you need a lightness of touch to make them work. I suggest you look at the opening of UP for guidance in terms of the way in which the passing of time - and the growing of a relationship - can be communicated wordlessly.

    I don't like the ending wherein the window cleaner is 'blowing bubbles' at the cleaner; it's too much already; just let her, like the audience, put 2 and 2 together nice and slowly; she comes out of the parlour; it's snowing; she looks up, watches snowflakes fall; her expression is sad; then we see a bubble; show us her confusion; we see more bubbles; one lands on her hand, where it freezes into a beautiful bauble; she looks at it, confused; we see realisation spread slowly into her face; then, she turns; she she's the tree; it's beautiful, it's branches handing with soap bubble baubles; she is smiling, her eyes wide with delight; we look at the tree for a few second more, and then she turns - and he's there a short distance away from her; he smiles, he looks a bit bashful; she smiles... The End. We don't need to be told from where the bubbles came from. We don't need to know how he decorated the tree. We just need to feel our hearts in our chests as we know that, after the credits roll, these two nice, ordinary people will indeed live happily ever after. I think less is always more with these sort of sweet stories.

    As expressed before, you need to build the relationship between these 2 just through looks and non-verbal communication - and that's going to take some sensitive direction your part.

    Now this is the other big challenge for you, Manisha. I think you have a sort of 'realistic' style when it comes to drawing people and faces, but this story calls for a more Pixar-style approach in terms of the human character. In terms of character design, I want you to rule out 'realism' and go out and out for stylisation. It's going to be new for you - and a challenge, but I think your story needs a different approach. I very much look forward to you getting stuck in; get this right, and you'll have a little gem of a story and the makings of a lovely animated short.